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Common Ground
|
2014-09-23
|
197KB
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1,607 lines
UltraShadow
BERMUDA
Times
A one of the luckiest guys alive -- I get to travel for a living.
LSince I write for the single market, I usually travel to moderately priced,
Jinformal, enticing, and exotic destinations. Trying to keep my girlfriend
Lhappy is another problem...if I don't take her sometimes, I won't have one!
MSo last month I told her I would take her any place that her heart desires -
she chose Bermuda.
GHer girlfriend from the east coast told her that it was more beautiful
"than Hawaii, more romantic than a
Caribbean cruise
(never could figure
Kwhat makes a place romantic or not), and the perfect place to show off her
Bnew (& expensive) wardrobe. All I had heard was how expensive and
Odressy the island was, and since we lived in California, difficult to get too!
II'm the blue-jeans and tennis-shoe type so I heed and hawed, but Bermuda
it was.
CGetting to Bermuda was easier than I thought. A short shuttle from
IOxnard, (our home, 60 miles north of Los Angeles) and a five hour flight
Fto New York got us within range of Bermuda for a mid-evening landing.
The flight on
American Airlines
)j' was on a new Boeing 767 and the 2-3-2
Iseating was perfect. The major disappointment was the airport at John F.
FKennedy - a nightmare. After relaxing in the airy spaces of LAX, this
Gairport was like a dungeon...dark, low ceilings, crowded with confused
Kpassengers, and a twenty-minute race (we were the rats in the maze, trying
Kto find the way out) to find our connecting flight to Bermuda. I have been
Qtold that the leading cause of death at this airport is heart attacks...at least
one a day!
AOur plane to Bermuda was a Boeing 757, an awful configuration of
J3-3. You always felt crunched up and there was never enough storage space
Nfor the carry-ons. If you often travel as a couple, I suggest (I learned on
Southwest
)9? flights, where there was no pre-assigned seats) you reserve a
Mwindow and an aisle seat...then only if the plane is 100% full will there be
someone between you two.
BArriving in Bermuda was perfect -- fast customs and no waiting at
Ithe luggage carousal. Since I had heard how expensive Bermuda was, I had
Fpreviously called the Department of Tourism (1-800-223-6106) before I
Dleft and they had sent some very useful information. Included was a
Nbrochure (color) of all the hotels and their rates, a "what-to-do & see list"
8and maps of all sites and hotel locations! I picked the
Rosemont
(1-800-
M367-0400), not because it promised self-contained units (small kitchens), or
Hperfect view of the harbor, proximity to Hamilton shopping area, a nice
Fsquare pool for laps, but its reasonable $100.00 /night price tag. We
Gweren't disappointed and after a little haggling, we got a room on the
Times
0second story that overlooked the harbor and the
Princess Hotel
)Q . To our
Kamazement it was only a five-minute walk to town...no lies in the brochure.
EAfter a good night sleep, we were off but in different directions. I
Jwent for my daily run and was astonished at how beautiful the surrounding
Marea was; quaint houses all done up in red, blue or green, lush foliage with
Ieverything in bloom, huge trees overhanging the small roads (remember to
Jrun on the opposite side -- driving is to the left!), and the most unique
@street names I had ever heard of. Not only were the roads called
o Heavens
/View, Majestic Circle, or maybe Pink Tree Lane
but the homes also had
(story book names. One home was called "
My Best Memory
" and another
A Second Chance
6" Every morning I ran a different direction and there
Iwas always a surprise around every turn...no trash, no beggars, no guns,
Hno chaos - it was a perfect vacation destination. Even in town we found
Hreasonably priced restaurants and the taxis were the same price as L.A.
4Maybe Bermuda 's overprice talk was just that...talk
:During our last day at the Rosemont I read an article in
;the local paper ("The Royal Gazette"...what else would you
=expect) that tourism was off 20% from the August 1986 high -
858,087 vs 47,679 ... only later would I figure out why!
BMy girlfriend (Mhynda) spent the mornings shopping...her favorite
Ksport. Yes, being a Filipina from the Imelda Marcos era (she also has over
J50 pair of shoes, including 22 pairs of boots), this was her natural born
Mdestiny...to have one of everything. I was astonished that she bought almost
Jnothing. Well, a few tee-shirts and local jewelry, mainly because the two
Fbig cruise ships were in town (arrive on Tuesdays, leave on Fridays).
EEverything was double the price of a California department store! No
Jbargains here. One good thing about the cruise ships was the sight of the
Jpassengers...all overweight, puffing cigarettes, shabby shorts, red socks
Hwith black shoes, and open Hawaiian shirts etc. Mhynda never complained
Conce about my tennis shoes and jeans wardrobe...again another myth
broken!
ABefore we changed hotels (the big negative of the Rosemomt - no
Hbeach), we decided to do our sight-seeing. Again, Bermuda was more than
Fwe expected. Remember, no tourists are allowed to rent a car, so your
Hmain means of transportation are taxis, scooters (poor choice when it's
Hraining) or the slow bus. Since storm clouds were forming and we wanted
1to see all in a few days we decided on the taxi.
They say a cab with a
sign (or was it
?) was an official taxi
Lguide but we found out that there was no difference...just the price. "All"
Hcabs are tour guides and for $60.00 you get three hours of pampering (a
9scooter for the day was $46.00). We started of with the
Bermuda perfume
factory
A- the gardens were more interesting than the perfume stuff, then
Fthe Bermuda Aquarium - - a major disappointment, especially if you've
Times
ever been to Monterey, the
Mariott's Castle Harbour
resort, a 250 - acre
<Iresort complete with its own golf course (the golfers actually take cabs
Kback to the hotel), tropical beaches, and its own castle with unbelievable
!views. Adjacent to the hotel was
Bermuda's Beverly Hills
, where all the
<Jrich folks (Ross Perot, etc.) live in total seclusion. On the way back to
JHamilton we stopped by a glass blowing crystal factory (I'm sure the cab
0driver got a cut) and then we hit pay dirt ..."
The Crystal Caves
`AOver the years of travel I've seen the Golden Buddha of Bangkok,
the Corcovado, (that giant
statue of
Christ the Redeemer, 2,400
feet over
Rio) and the golden Dome
of the
Rock (Mosque of Omar in
Jerusalem) --the Crystal
Caves was
just as impressive. Some
unknown
boys (chasing a cricket)
found it
in the early 1900s -- they
just fell
< into this big hole. Today it is
Bermuda's best attraction.
You walk
81 steps down into the earth
there are these crystal caves,
nestled
<Kin turquoise clear water and surrounded by ancient ice-pick looking rocks.
GThese underground lakes and caves are traversed by pontoon walkways --
Pit is breathless stroll. The vast water lakes reach a depth of 55 feet, and yet
Jyou can still see the bottom with no distortion. A mirror image of one of
,the growths in the still waters is called "
New York Skyline
." You had to
<Gblink twice to believe what you are seeing ... unforgettably beautiful.
BAfter an afternoon nap, we decided to continue our exploration of
<DHamilton Town by foot. Since the ferry stations are in Hamilton, we
Jdecided to take the small cruiser to the Belmont hotel (a ten-minute, two
Kdollar ride) for dinner, a very formal place. Finally Mhynda could put her
Jwardrobe to use. As I bought the ticket, I casually asked the ticket lady
Kwhat was the best landing spot was (there are three stops) and she mumbled
something back. I replied
"what"
)'% and she became totally unglued! She
<Eyelled, "whats wrong with you , can't you speak proper English , you
2should say, I beg your pardon." Now I was furious,
I hadn't stolen an
<Kapple, raped an elderly patron, or even Jay - walked; I just said " WHAT."
EMhynda had to hold me back as the lady threw the tickets at us! Yes,
#something was wrong in Disneyland.
&The restaurant wasn't open yet at the
Belmont
(the ferry ride was
<Fpleasant and we unexpectedly found it to be a fun way to explore the
Hisland) so we returned to Hamilton for dinner. That night, the waitress
Iignored Mhynda (she asked for another glass of water) four times before I
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Inside Crystal Caves!
Times
+<5M got up and got the water carafe myself. The waitress just shrugged as if "
cares." An
oddity to
bills (just for
tourists, I
suppose) in
Bermuda
is that a 15%
< gratuity
automatically
< included
into the final
reckoning.
Poor
service still
< gets the
tip and even
< when you
are spending
$200.00 a
night at a
fancy
hotel (yup,
that's
15% thank
you, plus
a 6% local
tax
added on top
of that
$200.00),
<Iyou are tipping $30.00 a day. That is wrong - what happens when someone
Kreally goes out of their way to please you? Do you add another tip on top
of that $30.00? Don't worry,
it doesn't happen very often in
Bermuda
);=. Our maid at the Sonesta didn't make our room (one of those
<F$200.00 a night hotels) because we were taking a nap. I asked her, in
Kproper English (I didn't want to upset anyone again), could she make it up
Dafter 3.00 P.M. and she said " NO." She was off now and didn't have
Gtime...so much for my pre-paid $30.00 tip. When we were at the Crystal
ICaves, I had asked our guide how she liked living in Bermuda, she said "
Ntwo of my girlfriends (under 25) are starting to lose their hair because they
Nhave to work three jobs. Stress on the island is so high...limited jobs and a
Jhigh cost of living." At that time, I ignored the remark as a young girls
Hpersonal problems, but now it seemed it was everywhere -- everybody was
stressed out!
DThe next day we decided to take a break and to beach it! Again, the
<9dark clouds appeared on the horizon, so we took a cab to
Horseshoe
Beach
)"E...noted as one of the best in the world. At the same time (kill two
<Ibirds with one stone, or in this case a cab ride) we visited a few beach
Khotels (for our last three days) and decided on the Sonesta. It was only a
2few miles past Horseshoe beach and looked perfect.
>Horseshoe beach was magnificent. Long rounded bay, clean pink
<Ksand, crystal clear water, jagged rocks protruding from the ocean's edges,
Hhidden caves, and no rocks or seaweed to mar a stroll into the water. A
Ctruly grand beach yet something was missing! When on the beach in
<Nyou'll see business deals being negotiated while sand is being kicked in your
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Yours truly, exploring
the caves!
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Times
+<5+face from a soccer game. On the beaches of
Thailand
, touts are selling you
<Meverything while the Thai beach boys are trying to hustle the Japanese girls
Ein English (only you can understand what is being said), and on the
beaches of the
Dominican Republic
)t' the local women bring fruits on their
<Jheads and prepare your lunch on the spot. Beaches have personalities just
Mlike people. I like to call it a " beach soul" and the best do go to heaven!
FBut Horesebeach beach was like a beautiful model who never got out of
Cgrammar school. No locals, no games, no g-strings (or topless), no
IEuropeans (they are in the Dominican Republic), no hassles, no trash, no
Inothing! Just us and a few couples from New York, Boston, Baltimore, and
LWashington. Sure, there were some chairs to rent at the restaurant, but you
4carried them and they cost the price of a room of a
Motel-8 in California.
<0Horseshoe beach was beautiful, but that was it!
1The next day we packed our bags and moved to the
Sonesta Hotel
. It
had caught our
eye for its three
natural beaches
rising from the
ocean's reefs, its
lush landscapes
complete with an
ocean front
moongate
)7 (one of
those Star-Trek-
looking time
portals that
guarantees your
marriage -- I
stayed away from
it), complete with
tennis and Spa
Mfacilities (found out later the spa was an extra $15.00 a day), and a unique
Kcollection of swimming pools; one a solar dome pool (great for rainy days)
Dplus an outdoor Olympic one. Oh, they were the only ones to give me
#discount for being a travel writer
`EWe arrived the following day; the front desk had never heard of us -
<Jyes, we had been there the day before and made the reservation in person.
FThe manager came out, apologized and asked what rate we were given; I
Ededucted 20% and told him "my" discounted rate, he accepted and also
Hupgraded us to the top floor. What makes travel so much fun (& sad) are
Junexpected events, good or bad they always seem to change the course of a
trip...this one was good!
>After making up on some missed tennis games, a dip in the two
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Mhyndha hoping for?
Times
Lpools, and some beach relaxation, it was time for dinner. We decided to try
Cthe coffee shop (there is a special desk just for hotel restaurant
Lreservations) and to our surprise the cashier asked if we had reservations.
.When I said NO, she looked at me like I was "
Archie Bunker
." Who
Kknows, maybe I was a fool...but this was the coffee shop! She then grinned
J(like it was my lucky day) and said soon we would be seated. From then on
we made dinner reservations.
=Next night we ate at one of the so called ''exclusive" hotel
Irestaurants, reservation in hand. Food was good but the service was even
Hbetter. Our waiter was from Manila and told us about the large Filipino
Jcommunity on the island. Wherever you travel, especially on cruise ships,
Jjust look below and you'll see them cooking your food, singing on stage,
Jor cleaning your room, there are Filipino workers or entertainers doing a
:15-hour day at minimum wages. Mhynda told me the standing
Flip joke, "
Jif all the overseas Filipino workers would ever decide to come back home,
the island would sink."
=That evening we also learned why Bermuda is so expensive. We
Edon't drink but the bill was almost as much as our plane flight from
California
):=. In town, we found abundant restaurants to choose from and
Freasonable prices. At the popular mega hotels there is no competition
K(remember, a taxi will cost $20.00 back to town...one-way) so they squeeze
Iyou by the b****s and don't let up. It was absurd, and then we were told
Hhow one could reduce this gouging by buying a meal plan with the hotel.
EWho wants to travel to a foreign country and only eat in an American
Hhotel...the reason one travels is to learn about different cultures and
/explore new environments -- that includes food.
?The next day we continued our tour of the island. Close to the
Sonesta was the
Gobb's Hill Lighthouse
'built in 1846 -- one of the first cast
Niron lighthouse built to withstand anything and to stop the avalanche of ship
Iwrecks from the offshore reefs. A climb to the top gives you a panoramic
Mview of the whole island and your exercise for the day -- 185 circular steps
-up to 362 feet above sea-level. Next was the
Bermuda Maritime Museum
Gby way of the # "7" bus. Actually this is the old Royal Naval Dockyard
Hbuilt by convicts in the early 1800s when the Royal navy fleet needed a
Gwinter anchorage! The exhibit depicts Bermuda's nautical history (very
Iinteresting, complete with a huge old fashion mechanical clock) and even
Idisplays some recovered artifacts from the wreck of the Sea Venture that
Ghappened hundreds of years ago. The grounds is also a shopping center,
<cruise ship dock, pubs, and restaurants galore...a fun day.
EThat night we read in the local paper that a tourist had been robbed
I(while asleep, took everything through an open-screen door) and the drug
Krehabilitation center needed expanding...seems like Bermuda is joining the
3real world. Now if only the locals could show some
Texan
(the most
Times
Jfriendly place on earth) like hospitality, this island could turn into an
Binteresting adventure rather than the so called " fantasy island."
DFinally it was time to go home, another $25.00 cab ride (no airport
Nshuttle) to the airport but then came a pleasant surprise. I shuddered at the
hassle of doing customs at the
dilapidated J.F.K. airport
, (I've heard horror
Kstories of two-hour waits) especially with Mhynda's Filipino passport. The
Jsurprise is that the American customs is at the Bermuda airport and after
Fgetting our boarding pass we went directly to the customs. Of course,
Icustoms officials never smile or even say, "welcome back" (wouldn't that
Ibe nice for a change) and only sniped at us once; to Mhynda, " Why don't
Gyou have your new green card (new ones have color pictures) yet? " She
Hmeekly replied, " But sir, I've already applied and it is stamped in my
5passport." He frowned and said NEXT. Ah, back in the
U.S.A.
Now, back at home, I can
reflect
)% on our trip to Bermuda. It was
Lcertainly beautiful, just as the brochures describe it. The problem is that
Mthe country is living in the past and its drop in popularity can be directly
connected to three factors:
CToday travelers are much more sophisticated than in the past; they
Gwant (demand) value for their dollar. You could travel to Hawaii (even
Kfrom the east coast) on a "Pleasant Hawaiian Vacation" package, have a car
@for a week and still come back with change to buy a new TV when
'compared to an equal Bermuda vacation.
?Consumers have better access to travel information about world
Mdestinations (as this on/line service) and don't rely on over zealous travel
Cagents to pick their spots. Now, they know where the hot spots and
bargains are!
CIt use to be that the farther you traveled, the more expensive the
Lair fare -- not today. The airlines have monthly department style sales for
Kexotic destinations. One can (if he waits for the right sale) go to London
Gcheaper than a flight from New York to Bermuda. Bermuda proximity to
*the East Coast is no longer an advantage.
;The world of travel has changed and if one took the cruise
Epassengers, the conventions, and the newlyweds away from Bermuda, it
1would be a ghost island...it's time they woke up!
<Okay, I promised a test to see if Bermuda is right for you.
5Please check to the statements that are true for you!
G Yes, I believe a vacation should be to isolate oneself from the real
Jworld. No interaction, no problems, no hassles, and especially not to try
Times
something new for me!
K Yes, a vacation is a rare and special event for me...money is no object
Las long as I stay in a glitzy palace with all the amenities and my honey is
happy.
B Yes, when I go on vacation I want other Americans around me;
<foreigners make me nervous and I hate their strange habits.
N Who cares what this Bruce guy says, my neighbors have been there so
I want to go too!
8 you have checked any of the above boxes, go to Bermuda.
Otherwise
;e-mail me for my book and start having some fun vacations!
*-=*************************************************************
For a
FREE
),= copy of our travel newsletter for singles, more info on our
>book (Travel & the Single Male) or chat about travel contact:
Eaol...Bruce11334, CompuServe...71035,2272, or 805-984-0410 for voive
information.
1994 TSM Publishing...No reprint without permission (electronic or
Mechanical) from TSM.
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1) About this Help system
2) What is Common Ground?
3) Common Ground Advantages
4) 24 Common Ground Uses
5) Common Ground product line
6) Common Ground resellers
7) Contacting No Hands
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